In Maus I Vladik checks his date's pill bottles to make sure she isn't crazy. During his second marriage neither party is truly satisfied. While Vladik always saves money, Mala, his wife, always spends money. When she asks for money or suggests, for example, that they hire a professional to fix the roof (rather than allowing her aging spouse to do it himself = bad idea), he complains that she spends too much money on unimportant things.
Throughout the graphic novel Vladik and Mala complain incessantly about each other to Vladik's son Artie. Eventually Artie says that maybe they ought to go to couple's therapy. Vladik says NO! and keeps complaining about his wife.
We (Americans) see a lot of this in sitcoms, books, movies... But growing up, I was under the impression that marriage is supposed to be fun. Stereotypes are often based on truth: something happens all the time, we make fun of it. It's human nature.
What I'm asking is, why do people with relationships that reflect that of Vladik and Mala stay together?
I have a few ideas, but input is never a bad thing.
Idea #1: Fear of being alone
People are afraid of being alone. Leaving someone is hard because it's, one, hard to lose somebody socially, but also because, two, there often is NOT a new partner right away. And even if there is, the new person is not the old one. When a break-up occurs, it's for a reason, so ideally the new partner is not the same as the old; but the heart still aches for the "original" partner, even if it was an unhealthy relationship.
Idea #2: Fear of change
Change is sometimes a scary thing. When a relationship is icky, eventually it becomes evident that something is off. Maybe the spark is gone. Maybe somebody is a hard core druggie. Whatever it may be, leaving routine can lead to a period of disorder. The new situation will OBVIOUSLY be DIFFERENT from the new situation. If they're lucky, it will be better; but no one knows until they try.
Idea #3: Environmental excuses
Environmental excuses, like financial security. If the man works but also is a not-nice person, and the woman is a housewife, perhaps she is reluctant to leave due to fear of the unknown. Will she ever find a job? Will it be a fun job? Will she win the lottery? Will she go broke buying lottery tickets?
Another environmental excuse is kids. "We're staying together for the kids." Yet another is political. If the president and his wife are unhappy and they break up, it will be all over the media. If they keep it out of the media and stay quiet, faking happiness for the public, they still have a private life. Is unhappiness in this situation worth the trade off?
Your concept of why people stay in relationships if they are unhappy is quite interesting. I didn't really think that in depth about Vladek and Mala's relationship, but you are completely right in the fact that they are almost polar opposites. I like how you related this to real life, specifically present day.
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